Chapter 7 – Pain and Misery

You can be anything you want to be, Madoka.

That was what Mommy would always say whenever I was feeling down. And honestly, I believed her. I thought that maybe if I worked hard enough, I could make all my dreams come true.

But you only call something a dream because it’s so difficult to make it come true. And more often than not, most dreams remain as dreams forever.

I knew that making dreams come true sometimes required sacrifice. But at the same time, I thought that I would at least know ahead of time what that sacrifice entailed. I never imagined a scenario where I would have something suddenly ripped away in exchange.

“You girls are always like that,” Kyuubey said, red eyes shining. “They all have the same reaction when I tell them the truth. I’ll never understand you humans. Why are you always so hung up on the specific location of your soul?”

Kyuubey’s calm diatribe showed no sign of remorse, and every word was like an arrow in my heart. He suddenly sounded like an adult chiding small children doing their best not to cry.

The weight of Sayaka-chan’s body in my hand seemed to increase as it turned colder and colder.

All I could do was burst into tears.

“That’s so terrible… It’s just too much…”

Such a childish response was all I could manage in the face of a profound sadness that I couldn’t even begin to comprehend.

All I wanted was to stop Sayaka-chan from hurting.

All I wanted was to stop Sayaka-chan from suffering.

That was why I had thrown her soul gem down onto the highway. I hadn’t even known that I was throwing away her life along with it.

“Sayaka-chan… I… I’m so sorry…” I cried, holding Sayaka-chan’s head in my arms and burying my nose in her hair.

“…Kaname Madoka.”

I raised my tear-stained face towards the voice… and there stood Akemi Homura-chan. Her typically icy expression had turned pale, and she was winded.

She held out her hand… showing me Sayaka-chan’s soul gem. The very same one that I had just thrown down onto the highway.

“…Ho-Homura-chan.”

“Hurry. The light is already fading.”

I grabbed it instantly, shoving it into Sayaka-chan’s palm and squeezing with both my hands. Sayaka-chan’s body began to glow brightly, as if her soul gem’s light had transferred into herself… Then, with a quick jerk, Sayaka-chan opened her eyes.

“Sa-Sayaka-chan!”

“Huh…”

“You’re okay, Sayaka-chan! You’re okay!”

I was so relieved that I couldn’t even stand up, and I just burst into tears again.

“…What? What’s going on?” Sayaka-chan looked around in shock, completely unaware of what had just happened.

I just held her all the tighter as I wailed.

◯

Sayaka-chan confronted Kyuubey on the bridge.

“You lied to us…”

“You asked to become a magical girl, and I granted your wish. I simply omitted the nature of your true form.”

“And why didn’t you tell me that?!”

“Because you didn’t ask. What you don’t know can’t hurt you. To prove my point, Mami never found out.”

The edges of my skirt crumpled as I gripped them tightly.

Homura-chan left in silence.

Kyouko-chan whaled on a street light and flew away.

Sayaka-chan and I remained on the bridge, highway traffic passing underneath us. Kyuubey’s shining red eyes had always seemed so cute before, but they had undeniably become an ominous glare.

“It’s not like you were acutely aware of the existence of your soul in the first place, right?” Kyuubey’s gaze focused on Sayaka-chan’s head, then moved to her chest. “Up there is just a collection of nerve cells, and that’s just the central focus of your circulatory system. If either of those systems fail, then your soul goes right along with them. To help prevent that outcome, I personally took your soul and gave it a form that could be properly protected. That helps keep you safe when you’re fighting witches.”

“That’s… that’s not just some offhanded assistance! How could you justify that level of invasion of privacy?” Sayaka-chan bit her lip, trying to form counterarguments.

“I don’t think you fully appreciate how this assists your fighting potential,” Kyuubey interjected. “For starters, do you even understand what getting gutted by a spear would do to your physical pain receptors under normal circumstances?”

Kyuubey vaulted down from the railing he was sitting on, lightly touching the soul gem in Sayaka-chan’s palm.

“…Ngh.” Sayaka-chan grunted at first, but then she grabbed her stomach and collapsed on the spot, howling with intense pain.

“Sa-Sayaka-chan?! Are you okay, Sayaka-chan?!”

“This is true pain. Just one hit would compromise you, don’t you agree?” Kyuubey calmly explained, removing his paw from the soul gem. “Remember how that battle with Sakura Kyouko went? You probably lost count of the number of times her spear pierced your body. The only reason you could even stand at the end of that was because you protected yourself from the immense pain, a feat only possible because your consciousness wasn’t directly connected to your body. That is why you survived.”

Sayaka-chan glared at Kyuubey with teary eyes, taking deep, ragged breaths. Kyuubey ignored her gaze, continuing in a calm tone.

“If you really get the hang of it, you can even block out pain entirely. But that tends to slow down your reaction times, so I don’t particularly recommend it.”

“…Why… Why are you doing this to us…” Sayaka-chan asked, her face warped in pain.

“Why?” Kyuubey repeated in his typically calm and collected manner. “You were the one with a wish that you wanted to come true, even if it meant accepting a fate of battle and war, correct? I’ve undeniably kept up on my end of the bargain.”

◯

Cumulonimbus clouds that harkened early summer billowed on the horizon. My bangs were occasionally ruffled by a gentle and pleasant breeze. The brand-new streets of Mitakihara City were peaceful and calm under a gentle sky.

I watched the familiar cityscape from the school rooftop with a heavy heart.

I found myself heading to the rooftop for lunch period. Sayaka-chan hadn’t come to school, and I wanted to be somewhere that I could try and collect my thoughts. At some point, Akemi Homura-chan showed up. Neither of us spoke for quite some time, and I just blankly watched the streets of Mitakihara City through the rooftop fence as Homura-chan stood silently beside me.

“Did you already know, Homura-chan?” I asked.

I felt Homura-chan nod gently beside me.

“Then why… Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Nobody else that I told before believed me.”

I slowly turned around at Homura-chan’s response. There she stood, her long hair fluttering in the wind, and her icy gaze fixed upon me. “Why would Kyuubey do something so cruel?” I asked.

“Because he doesn’t think it’s cruel.” Homura-chan responded, her face unreadable. “He doesn’t hold our human values. As far as he’s concerned, he made a fair deal in exchange for a miracle granted.”

“That’s not even close to a fair deal!” I shouted back reactively. “Sayaka-chan just wanted to heal the boy she loved, and now… now she’s like that.”

“But she undeniably received her miracle. The impossible was made possible.”

“…”

“Miki Sayaka could have spent her whole life caring for that boy, and he would never have been able to play the violin again. Who are we to say that such a miracle isn’t worth a human life when that’s what they’re being sold for?”

The way she was talking brought back images of Kyuubey’s red eyes shining in the dark. I suddenly felt woozy and unstable. “But that means…” I fumbled, shaking my head to try and rid my mind of those eyes. “Sayaka-chan can’t go back to a normal life… can she?”

Homura-chan stared at me silently for a while. She turned away before finally responding. “…I already warned you to give up on Miki Sayaka.”

“But…”

I still remembered being in that factory room. The group of expressionless people trying to commit mass suicide. Hitomi-chan and all those workers possessed by the witch. When the witch finally revealed itself, it did so through a series of television screens portraying Mami-san’s death.

That was the moment I gave up. I assumed it was my punishment. The punishment I deserved for not keeping my promise with Mami-san. I felt a despair deeper than any I had known possible, more than just giving up on life.

But…

“Even so, Sayaka-chan saved me.”

Homura-chan raised her head at my quiet mutters.

“If Sayaka-chan hadn’t become a magical girl, then Hitomi-chan and I would have died…”

“Don’t confuse gratitude for responsibility,” Homura-chan interjected coldly. “You are incapable of saving her from her fate. Don’t presume that you can repay your debt just to escape your inferiority complex.”

“…Why?”

“…”

“Why are you so uncaring, Homura-chan?”

I let my frustration and sadness win, and lashed out at Homura-chan despite knowing how right she was.

“I suppose I am…” Homura-chan said, looking… sad, somehow. She looked away again, her gaze turning distant. She absently stared at the ring on her middle finger that housed her soul gem.

“I guess that’s just how it is… since I’m no longer human.”

Two weeks ago, I was just a regular second-year middle schooler. A child living in a warm, happy world. I couldn’t have known just how protected I was in that world, spending every day wrapped in what I thought of as substantial worries. But that world was indeed being protected.

I stood by smiling in a world drenched in the bloody tears of girls who had made contracts to become magical girls.

I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to smile like I used to again. Not after seeing Mami-san’s sad smile, and Sayaka-chan’s face covered in a river of tears… and Homura-chan’s icy, resigned gaze.

I doubted I’d ever be able to go back.

And yet, despite how far I’d come… I still couldn’t do a thing.

I couldn’t demand answers from Kyuubey about the injustices happening, and I definitely couldn’t go to Mommy or my teachers for advice about it.

And I couldn’t make a contract to become a magical girl, like Sayaka-chan or Homura-chan.

Every path was blocked… or rather, it was like I was wandering around in the dark, and forget about seeing the path, it took everything I had just to not fall. But every day, I had to keep taking step after step, without even knowing where I was going…

Then in a year, I’d be in my third year of middle school, facing high school entrance exams… Maybe if I kept things up, then Sayaka-chan, Homura-chan and I would all go to Mitakihara High School. I would spend three happy years there, maybe figuring what I wanted to do with my future doing along the way.

Then, once I was standing on my own two feet, I’d be able to think without anything blocking my way. Maybe I’d spend less time constantly worrying about Sayaka-chan, and could actually help her out from time to time… Maybe becoming a true friend for her–

For the first time, I had that thought to completion. With a start, I realized that I had figured out what a friend is. I had answered my own long-time question.

Friendship wasn’t a one-way street where one person helped another, but a relationship in which both people would be able to come to each other’s aid. For so long, I let my poor self-esteem tell me that I was lesser than Sayaka-chan and Hitomi-chan. I let myself believe that they were one-sidedly helping and caring for me, because I didn’t believe I was capable of anything more.

But Sayaka-chan was out there right now crying and suffering. All I was doing was crying alongside her instead of doing anything more.

But Kyuubey was right there.

I could have any wish granted. But what kind of wish? Obviously, a way to make Sayaka-chan, myself, and everyone else happy.

But just as that idea began to rise from within, the terrifying shadow of reality crept over me… and I let it sink back down.

◯

“Good morning to you, Madoka-san.”

I was walking the usual route to school. I replied to Hitomi-chan’s greeting as cheerfully as I could manage, but the clear blue skies and beautiful morning couldn’t have felt more contrary to my mood.

Shizuki Hitomi-chan smiled at me, her expression bright and cheery in the way I always knew her to be. All the shadows I had seen in her face that day were completely gone, and it was like her smile brought about a new spring.

I figured that had to be a good thing. It’d be a shame if anyone possessed by a witch had to live with the scars of their encounter forever. That’d be especially disheartening for all the magical girls who fought behind the scenes on their behalf.

But… it wasn’t a perfect solution. Because that just meant that every magical girl and their actions were being quietly scrubbed away, without anyone knowing the difference. That made me a little sad.

“Oh, Sayaka-san.”

I looked up at Hitomi-chan’s call.

“Oh, uh… Mornin’.” Sayaka-chan waved, having run into us at the crossroads by the station. Her short hair looked perfect, and her energetic smile seemed to soak in the sun’s rays.

“G-Good morning, Sayaka-chan!” I greeted her as excitedly as I could.

But I knew. I’d been with her since elementary school, so it was obvious that she was faking. Her eyes were glazed over, and her movements were jerky and forced.

“Did something happen to you yesterday?” Hitomi-chan queried.

“Nah, uh… I think I just had a bit of a cold.” Sayaka-chan forced some pep into her answer, but it only made me more concerned.

I was just about to double down and ask if she was really okay when–

[ It’s okay. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it. ]

Sayaka-chan’s voice echoed in my head.

“My fever’s gone, and I’m back in business! Gotta throw everything I’ve got at to-”

Just as Sayaka-chan was throwing her arms up to prove her energetic declaration, we all noticed a boy walking ahead of us.

It was Kamijou Kyousuke-kun, making his way to school on crutches.

“Oh, my… Kamijou-kun was discharged from the hospital?” Hitomi-chan mumbled in surprise.

In contrast, Sayaka-chan remained completely silent, simply watching Kamijou-kun’s back as he threw himself into every step.

“You’re better now, Kamijou?!”

Kamijou Kyousuke-kun’s return to class garnered a lot of attention from boys and girls alike, as if he was a new transfer student. I figured that was due to his long absence, but it was undeniably also because of his bright, energetic smile.

“Staying at home won’t do anything for rehab. I wanna be outta crutches by next week,” Kamijou declared, smiling to all of the class.

“Kamijou-kun seems brighter than ever before.”

“Um… yeah, right.”

Hitomi-chan seemed quite happy about everything, but I was paying more attention to Sayaka-chan, who had been staring blankly into the distance for the last few minutes.

“Kamijou-kun looks great,” I offered, unable to watch Sayaka-chan looking like that for any longer.

“…Mm.” Sayaka-chan nodded distantly.

“You should go to him, Sayaka-chan. You haven’t talked to him yet, have you?”

“Nah, it’s… whatever,” Sayaka-chan mumbled, shuffling back to her seat and hiding her face.

It was like Kamijou-kun had sucked all of Sayaka-chan’s normal cheerfulness away, leaving her empty. And I couldn’t help but feel that she was ashamed of herself.

“Are things okay between Sayaka-san and Kamijou-kun?” Hitomi-chan suddenly whispered to me.

“Er… Well, I don’t think it’s that, really…” I looked down, unsure how to answer, and Hitomi-chan stopped asking questions.

A cheerful laugh resonated from Kamijou-kun’s seat. It sounded happy and warm, and it cut through Sayaka-chan like a blade. It was almost like Sayaka-chan was in her own time zone, her head tucked into her desk.

It wasn’t their fault, but even though both Hitomi-chan and Kamijou-kun had been saved by the existence of magical girls, neither of them could remember. It was unfortunate that in exchange for their happiness, a magical girl had to suffer alone. It was so hard to stomach just how much they took their current happiness for granted.

My heart was screaming for them to stop. To not laugh so cheerfully. To not look so happy.

After a very uncomfortable day in class, Sayaka-chan and I were preparing to go home.

“Sayaka-san, Madoka-san.” Hitomi-chan spoke to us as she also prepared to leave. “If you two don’t mind… there’s something I would like to discuss with you.”

The way she looked at us was… different. Her eyes were dewy, and yet behind them burned a strong, fiery determination.

Sayaka-chan and I both looked at her and nodded, slightly cowed.

“So, what didja wanna talk about?”

The three of us were at the usual fast food joint, with Sayaka-chan and I sitting across from Hitomi-chan.

Taking a sip of the iced tea in front of her, Hitomi-chan fixed her gaze on us. Actually, to be more accurate, she looked directly at Sayaka-chan. “This is about love.”

I could hear a hitch in Sayaka-chan’s throat, and I froze, too.

“I have been… keeping a secret from the two of you for quite some time now.”

I had a really bad feeling about what she was going to say. My heart was racing faster and faster.

“A… secret?” Sayaka-chan repeated, her voice cracking.

Hitomi-chan took a deep breath, then spoke determinedly. “For quite some time now, I have had romantic feelings towards Kyousuke Kamijou-kun.”

“…”

“…”

…Stop. Not now. Please don’t say that, I screamed internally.

“…O-Oh, really?” Sayaka-chan responded with a stiff smile. “Ha, hehe… wow, you, Hitomi? Kyousuke’s smoother than I gave him credit for.”

Sayaka-chan seemed to be smiling just to hold back how upset she was… and I didn’t know what to say.

Meanwhile, Hitomi-chan looked more nervous than I’d ever seen her. She continued with a slight quaver in her voice, “Sayaka-chan, you… Kamijou-kun is your childhood friend.”

“Ah, well… You know, it’s like, like it or not, he was always around.”

“Is that really all?”

“…”

“I have come to a decision. I will no longer lie to myself.” Hitomi-chan looked Sayaka-chan straight in the eye. “Can the same be said for you? Are you going to face your true feelings, Sayaka-san?”

“Hitomi–”

“I am going to tell Kamijou-kun how I feel about him tomorrow after school.”

That sentence was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I could feel the world tilting, rolling down into a dark abyss. The music blaring from the speakers and the restaurant decorations all around us suddenly seemed artificial, like elements of a movie set.

“I will only wait one day. You need to make a decision that you will not regret, Sayaka-san. Will you tell Kamijou-kun how you feel?”

◯

That was the second time.

I had only seen Sayaka-chan’s face so warped in pain once before. It was back when we were sixth-years in elementary school, just before summer vacation. The day her pet dog Rocky died.

“He was such a weird dog,” Sayaka-chan mumbled. She was late to school, and her eyes swam with tears. “He was just a mutt, some random dog I came across… But somehow, he knew whenever I was feeling down, and he’d always be right there for me. He wouldn’t make any noise, or nuzzle me, but he was just always… there. But I was stupid, so I would yell at him to go away… He would, but he always seemed a little sad. He wouldn’t go on walks, which were his favorite thing, or even eat. He would just be there for me until I felt better. It was like he wanted to support me through whatever was happening, no matter how heavy it was.”

Sayaka-chan mumbled all of that in broken sentences, her voice hoarse and raspy.

We were waiting for our teacher to arrive, and I just sat next to Sayaka-chan listening.

“How do dogs understand human emotion so well? They can’t talk, or use any human tools, but they understand what’s really important and are there for us. They’re so loyal. No matter how badly I treated him, he always trusted me.”

“…Because he really loved you, Sayaka-chan.”

Sayaka-chan shook her head, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. “But I didn’t do anything to deserve that. And now I can never repay him.”

Sayaka-chan hit her limit at that point, and began openly bawling in the classroom. The whole class started making an commotion, giving a real shock to the teacher who had finally come in.

Back then, I hadn’t really known how to reply, and I just kept my hand on Sayaka-chan’s shoulder, tears welling in my own eyes. But now, there was something inside that made me think I was beginning to understand the way Rocky treated Sayaka-chan.

At the very least, I felt like Rocky must have been thinking the same way as me.

I didn’t know how to tell Sayaka-chan how much I loved her, but she was in trouble, and more than anything else… I just wanted to be with her.

When I got home from the fast-food joint, I was thinking about what I could do for Sayaka-chan, and before I had even changed out of my school uniform, I remembered that day back in elementary school.

Suddenly, I felt like I was in Rocky’s position.

Sayaka-chan always cared for me, always gave me so much… and I wanted to show her my gratitude.

When I finally realized what I could do, I bolted to my feet. The clock told me it was already almost 6 PM.

I made it down to the first floor, and Daddy was preparing dinner. Mommy was probably going to be out late working, so I was sure dinner would be ready for the three of us, Tatsuya included, but I sprang towards the front door to leave.

“It’s almost dinner time, Madoka,” Papa called out as I was throwing my shoes on.

“Um… I won’t be long. I have to go see a friend. I’ll be back soon.”

I had never been good at lying, so I just rapid-fired my reasoning and dashed out before he could ask any more questions.

It was obvious. There was something I could do. I just had to be as close to her as I could.

No matter what happened, I wanted to be there for Sayaka-chan.

I wished I was capable of more, but I couldn’t find a more specific way to help her. But maybe I could be like Rocky, just being there with Sayaka-chan, and if that was enough to lift her spirits just a tiny bit… then maybe there was a reason for me to exist after all.

Nighttime darkness crept up around the corners of the city as I dashed towards Sayaka-chan’s house. I was out of breath and almost tripped several times, but I pushed myself as fast as I could possibly go.

And before long, I was standing in front of the lights of Sayaka-chan’s apartment complex.

Sayaka-chan stepped outside, the lights of the front entrance washing over her. I saw Kyuubey right nearby, and realized I had caught her just before she was about to go out and fight witches. I was so relieved I had made it in time.

“Sayaka-chan,” I called out.

Sayaka-chan turned towards me in surprise. “Madoka? What are you… doing here?”

“Can I… come with you?” I asked, still catching my breath. “I don’t want you to be alone, Sayaka-chan. I just… want to stay by your side. I know I’ll hold you back, but I… just wanted to. So, uh…”

As usual, I did a horrible job expressing my feelings. But even so, as I spoke, I could see Sayaka-chan’s eyes start to tear up.

“Why are you… so nice to me? I don’t… I’m not worth it…” Sayaka-chan suddenly covered her face. “I… You know, I…” She stammered through her sentence. “Today… I almost regretted what I’d done.”

I suddenly thought of what happened at the fast food restaurant. I wasn’t wrong when I had thought that something snapped.

“For just a second, I started fantasizing… what would have happened if I hadn’t saved Hitomi… Some hero I turned out to be… Mami-san would be ashamed to have known me…” Sayaka-chan mumbled painfully, her shoulders shaking.

I reached out and hugged Sayaka-chan. As usual, I couldn’t find the words to comfort her. I felt stupid, but I just stroked her back gently, trying in some way to absorb the sorrow that was swallowing her up.

“Hitomi’s going to take Kyousuke away from me…”

“Sayaka-chan…”

“And there’s… nothing I can do about it…”

Sayaka-chan was wracked with heaving sobs… and it was too much for me.

I had found out about Sayaka-chan’s affection for Kamijou-kun so long ago. Sayaka-chan was always more of an energetic tomboy, but when she would talk about Kamijou-kun, this embarrassed, girly side of her would suddenly peek out, and I’d always watched that happen with such dazzling admiration.

Tears dripped down from my eyes, one after the other.

“I mean, I’m… I’m already dead… I’m just a zombie… How could I ask him to hold my dead body in his arms… How could I ask him to kiss the lips of a corpse…”

Sayaka-chan’s sobs echoed under the cold, blue moonlight.

The fragments of her broken dream were still visible in my mind. The future with Kamijou-kun that Sayaka-chan had always wished for. An ordinary wish from an ordinary girl.

A church front and center, where the adult Sayaka-chan and Kamijou-kun were getting married.

Countless white doves flying through the air.

Everyone smiling happily, congratulating and blessing the couple.

A life with no worries, just endless blue skies and an eternal spring bloom.

But… that’s all it was. A dream.

Instead, Sayaka-chan was forced into a scenario where no matter what she did, her dreams could no longer come true. Any hope of them coming true had been cruelly suffocated back in the restaurant.

I could practically feel the pain, misery, and sadness swirling from within Sayaka-chan by my hand on her back. It would be enough to crush any one person, and I hoped that by standing by Sayaka-chan, it would somehow become bearable.

But as the town around me grew darker, all I could feel was the oppression against my heart squeezing tighter and tighter.

◯

“This is the Witch of Shadow, who governs the nature of self-righteousness. Her main attribute is shadow; As you can see, she lurks behind a domain resembling shadow puppetry, and her great power as a witch comes from her strong level of cooperation with her familiars. Be careful, Sayaka.”

Kyuubey’s words echoed in my mind, but all I could do was clasp my hands and try to cheer Sayaka-chan on, saying, “You can do it, Sayaka-chan…”

True to Kyuubey’s words, the witch’s domain was like a projector screen darkened by uncanny shadow puppets. Sayaka-chan struggled to fight back against a series of snake-like familiars. Cackling roars reverberated at intervals, and ominous, malicious footsteps constantly thudded.

Sayaka-chan attempted her best swordplay to fend off the familiars, but their attacks were too unpredictable, both in timing and location. Every time she was a step too late, and the familiars would gouge another slice out of her body, and I heard a new cry of pain from her each time.

The attacks had no end, no matter how many familiars she defeated. But just as I wondered if it would go on forever, Sayaka-chan fended off all the nearby familiars with her sword and rushed towards the main body of the witch in the distance.

But her attack missed the body by just inches, and countless shadow roots sprang from the main body, swallowing Sayaka-chan whole.

“Watch out, Sayaka-chan!” I screamed involuntarily.

“Sheesh… I’m not watching this any longer!”

Another shadow crossed the landscape, a familiar silhouette with long, tied-up hair. It was Sakura Kyouko-chan, her extremely long spear in tow.

Kyouko-chan whipped her spear around, and the shadows absorbing Sayaka-chan were splendidly cut away.

“Alright, that’s enough. Get outta the way and I’ll show you how it’s done.” Kyouko-chan took a step towards the witch, seeming almost protective of Sayaka-chan.

“Don’t… get in my way…” Sayaka-chan unsteadily rose to her feet.

“Hey, you–”

“I’ll do it all… myself,” Sayaka-chan mumbled in a low voice, shakily readjusting her sword in her hands. She pushed Kyouko-chan away, using the momentum to speed towards the witch again.

Another attack snaked from the ground as the witch countered, reaching Sayaka-chan’s body at the same time that she swung with all her might.

It appeared to be a draw–

But it turned out that while Sayaka-chan had sustained major damage, she had taken it all without flinching, managing to slash the shadow roots to shreds.

“…Sayaka-chan?!”

Sayaka-chan collapsed back to the ground, unbelievable amounts of blood gushing from her face. I couldn’t do anything but scream.

But…

I heard the echo of a rising chuckle.

“…Ha… Haha… It really is true!”

It came from Sayaka-chan. It was a sound I’d never heard from her mouth before… some kind of incessant, overjoyed laughter.

“…Ahaha… If I just choose not to feel anything… It doesn’t hurt at all!”

A pit of unease began forming in my gut when I heard her voice. It didn’t sound anything at all like Sayaka-chan.

Her legs, knees, stomach, chest, and shoulders had countless piercings and gashes from the witch’s branches, and yet she wore a detached, soothing, blood-covered smile.

“No, you can’t be–”

Kyouko-chan’s gasp of surprise was accented by Sayaka-chan tottering back towards the witch. Her gait was anything but steady, and yet the witch launched sharp roots one after the other, almost seeming afraid. Sayaka-chan brandished her sword in turn, not bothering to avoid any of the branches. Every spray of blood from Sayaka-chan’s body heralded the death of another familiar, until the main witch found itself cornered.

I couldn’t stand to watch it. It was no longer a battle between a magical girl and a witch… It was more like the TV documentary I had seen of two African beasts in a struggle to the death, two beings of raw, unadulterated power clashing against each other.

I had come so that I could watch over her…

But I found myself turning away.

“Stop… please, stop…” I cried inaudibly.

But Sayaka-chan’s endless, detached cackling continued to play in my ears.

There was a sound like breaking glass, and everything went quiet.