Chapter 10 – I Can’t Depend On Anyone

I… don’t have any friends.

Actually, it’d be more accurate to say I don’t know what a friend is.

I’m not really sure what separates a classmate from a friend, or an acquaintance from a friend. I don’t even attempt to understand what separates friends and best friends. I never can tell how to gauge my emotional distance from one person to another.

Is that person a friend, or perhaps not?

Is that person just a classmate, or an acquaintance?

I’ve been trying to figure it all out for as long as I can remember. I try to think about it, and it just makes my head spin. It feels like I’m the only one who doesn’t know.

Or at least, I was. Until one particular day in class.

The day I met that girl…

“Okay, it’s time for her self-introduction.”

The homeroom teacher… Saotome Kazuko-sensei, I think, pushed me forward with a cheerful voice.

But then, up in front of everyone… I got stage fright. My stomach started churning. I never could get used to speaking in front of crowds. But at the same time, I couldn’t be the only one to find it inconsiderate to get the attention of more than 30 people then just leave someone out to dry.

But what I thought didn’t really matter. Such is the fate of a transfer student.

“Um… I…”

Unfortunately, my outer self had nowhere near the capability of expression that my inner self did. As far as anyone else would be concerned, I was extremely timid, shy, and quiet.

“I-I’m… A-A-Akemi… Ho-Homura. I, um… h-hope we can… g-get along.”

Regret over my extremely uncool and pathetic introduction set in pretty quickly.

“Akemi-san spent a long time in the hospital due to a heart condition. It’s her first time back in school in quite a while, so it may take some getting used to. Everyone help her where you can.”

Saotome-sensei gave such a concise introduction that I kicked myself for not just saying what she did. She wrote my name, Akemi Homura, on the blackboard, smiling at the class.

While I’m talking about it, I really hate my name. Homura… What am I, some kind of motorcycle-riding delinquent? It’s such a lame name that would barely fit in the last generation, let alone this one.

For a girl with plain, braided hair and glasses, it was such an embarrassing name.

Then there was what happened next.

“Homura is such a cool name!” The moment homeroom was over, the girl sitting next to me turned my way with a big smile. Everyone else around immediately swarmed over, as if taking her compliment as an invitation.

“What school did you attend before, Akemi-san?”

“Were you in any clubs before? Sports? Cultural studies?”

“Wow, your hair is so long. Does it take a lot of time to braid it up every morning?”

As might be expected, I was absolutely overwhelmed by the barrage.

“Um… I-I, well…”

I ended up grabbing my glasses, something I always did when I was nervous. I always had to clean them off, but it was just a habit.

Right about then–

“You need to visit the nurse’s office, right, Akemi-san? Do you know the way there?”

A different girl interrupted. Her smile was so welcoming that it took my breath away. Her arrival was refreshing as a warm spring breeze.

My mouth gaped open in amazement. “Huh? No, I…” I couldn’t really get a hold of the situation, but that didn’t matter.

“I’ll show you the way. I’m the class’s nurse aid. Sorry everyone, Akemi-san needs to go take her medicine in the nurse’s office during break.” Somehow, the girl smoothed the whole situation over and got me out of there without anybody being upset.

I followed the girl down the hall, stealing timid glances at her back.

If only I could tell her how grateful I was. Being around people was hard enough, but a bombardment of questions like that was just off the table under any circumstances.

“Sorry about that. They didn’t mean any harm, but…” The girl turned my way again, offering me another smile as warm as a spring breeze. “We just don’t get transfer students often, so they got excited.”

“No, it’s, um… Thank you so much,” I said, bowing.

“Don’t be so nervous. We’re classmates.” She smiled again. “My name is Kaname Madoka. You can just call me Madoka.”

Kaname… Madoka. I could feel the name settling deep into my heart.

But I’d never called someone by their first name, not once. Even though she invited me, I couldn’t just up and call her ‘Madoka’ like that.

“And if you do that, how about I call you Homura-chan?”

The girl… Kaname Madoka smiled again, and it was like all my worries just blew away.

Her smile was unfair. It was like it took away all the strength from my body. It blasted through all the thick walls I’d learned to place around my heart.

I found myself at a loss, so I just fumbled through a sentence. “I, um… I’ve never really been called by my first name, and… it’s a… really weird name, anyway.”

“What? No way. That name makes me really think of someone who can give their all. It’s really cool.”

“…I don’t think I can live up to that name.”

I tried arguing back, and Kaname-san stopped in place, turning towards me… with another bright smile. “Well, we can’t have that. It’s a really nice name, and I think you could become just as cool as a name like that deserves, Homura-chan.”

I was genuinely shocked by that. Nobody in all my 14 years had ever said anything like that to me.

For the first time, I felt like my name didn’t have to be a cross I was forced to carry… but a stepping stone that I could use to grow.

That was a nice idea, but I was hardly capable of changing so dramatically right away. The reality was that I was a boring person, and that was destined to shine through anything I did or thought.

Take math. I stood in front of the blackboard sweating over the problem written up for the class. The mathematical formula written down could have been a magic spell for all I knew. Everything got blurry, and I started feeling sick to my stomach. I knew what that meant. The anemia was setting in.

The math teacher glanced over at my pale face, coming in for the save. “Ah yes, you were out on leave, weren’t you? Make sure you borrow some notes from a friend to get caught up.”

I bowed my head quickly and scampered back to my seat in a hurry. I just wanted to disappear.

And if math was bad, then P.E. was worse. They were testing our long jump that day, but my low blood pressure was catching up to me even in the warm-up exercises.

“She’s seriously getting anemic from warm-ups? Just how sick is she?”

“Well, she’s been in bed for six months, whaddaya expect?”

Voices drifted in from various sources.

I sat in a corner of the field, trying desperately not to cry and wondering why my body had to be so weak.

I had been born with extremely constrictive blood vessels around my heart. Strenuous exercise and even nervousness could get my chest hurting really badly. Before long, chest pain started triggering at random intervals, and that was when I started withdrawing into myself. I bounced between hospitals, with each new hospital forcing me into a new school district. So naturally, I had no friends.

Everyone else could go live ordinary lives, completely unaware, while I was left behind. All I could feel was impatience and incompetence. It only got worse as time went on.

Why am I the only one with a body so weak?

Why am I the only one suffering so much?

I would cry uncontrollably whenever I spent any time dwelling on it.

Maybe I should just get rid of this body. The thought passed my mind on the way home from school one day while crossing a railway bridge.

Mommy and Daddy were always looking for new doctors, and moving constantly to get to them. I knew they couldn’t do it forever. They had to keep establishing themselves in new neighborhoods, finding new homes, and wishing for the cure that would work this time, then maybe this time, then maybe this time. All because of me. How long would it take the disappointment to just turn into pure despair?

I think you could become just as cool as a name like that deserves, Homura-chan.

Suddenly, the line Kaname-san had told me passed through my mind.

“Becoming cool? …Yeah, right… I can’t become anything…”

I stared at the flowing river under the bridge, tears welling in my eyes.

“All I do is cause trouble for others and embarrass myself… Why can’t I be different? Is this how it’s gonna be forever?”

The question floated down into the river, just as my tears did.

[ In that case… dying is the best option. ]

That was when I heard the voice.

At first, I thought it was my inner voice, the weak, sulky-sounding voice that I always spoke to myself in. So I answered in kind.

“I guess I should just die…”

[ Yes, dying would be perfect. ]

The voice answered me immediately. It wasn’t my voice, but… it was sweet, and peaceful.

Truth be told, I didn’t really care whose voice it was, or where it was coming from. It promised me a world beyond the sweet release of death, and that was all I could have wanted.

The next moment, I was no longer standing on an iron bridge. The cobblestone under my feet had transformed into some kind of strange pavement decorated with grotesque portraits of humans. Clouds swirled about a red sky.

All around me, a cackling laughter began rising and echoing. A gigantic stone gate rose out of the ground in front of me, rumbling and quaking. The earthquake was so heavy it knocked me down to my knees, and all the scenery around me was changing rapidly. I couldn’t even stand up because of how badly my legs shook.

[ Time to die now. ]

The voice spoke again. But there was nothing sweet about it any more. Its voice slithered around my body like a disgusting caress.

[ Come here. Come to me. ]

I was slumped on the ground, utterly incapable of moving, watching all the horrific monsters that looked like they were made of scribbles and doodles.

“No… Noooooo!”

The moment I shrieked in terror, a burst of light scattered in the horizon. Suddenly, it wrapped around me protectively.

“…Just in the nick of time!”

I looked up to find a girl in an elegant, bright yellow outfit.

“It’s okay now, Homura-chan.” Another, smaller girl dressed in a cute pink outfit smiled at me. It was a smile like a warm spring breeze… I recognized her.

“Yo-You… what a-, are…”

“They’re magical girls.” A cutesy voice answered my stammering and incomplete question. “They hunt down witches.”

I turned around to find some kind of strange creature unlike anything I’d ever seen sitting down. Its body was all blindingly white, and it sported extremely long ears and a big, fluffy tail.

Witches? Something about… hunting?

“Looks like the cat’s out of the bag,” said the pink-haired girl with a smile like a spring breeze. Madoka Kaname-san. Her smile had turned somewhat embarrassed. “Don’t tell anyone in class, ‘kay?”

As she was finishing her sentence, her arm glowed, and a huge bow instantly popped into existence in her hands. The girl in yellow held up a big, silver musket. In perfect time, the two of them began firing at the monsters.

The monsters vanished as they were struck by pink and yellow beams to the sound of deafening roars. The massive stone gate crumbled to the ground, and the sky swirled violently. Before long, the entire world crumbled away like sand.

And I, I just… didn’t know what to do. Nothing that I had seen made any sense.

◯

“Are you… always fighting like that, Kaname-san?”

I was in a studio apartment that was part of a very fancy condo complex, evidently the home of the girl in yellow, who introduced herself as Tomoe Mami.

They told me that the monster I had seen earlier was called a witch. Tomoe Mami and Kaname Madoka were magical girls conscripted to fight against the witches. The strange, now destroyed world that I had found myself in earlier was called a witch’s domain.

But the explanations just didn’t really cut it as I stared at the two middle school girls before me happily eating chiffon cake. Quite frankly, it was unbelievable, and yet I couldn’t deny the presence of the strange, white creature with long ears sitting right beside us.

I cautiously stole a glance at it, and it stared back innocently with round, cute eyes that glowed red. There really was nothing like it.

“Well, not always, technically… Mami-san’s the real veteran. I just made my contract with Kyuubey last week.” Kaname-san smiled shyly, more than happy to dig into another piece of cake she had cut for herself.

“Even so, your fighting capabilities have improved greatly, Kaname-san.”

Kaname-san flashed another shy smile at Tomoe-san’s praise.

Apparently, the very mature-looking and beautiful Tomoe Mami was a third-year middle schooler. Not only was she older than Kaname-san and I, she was also quite experienced as a magical girl.

“You had a really close call yesterday,” Tomoe-san noted, looking at me with a kind smile. “I only caught it as we left school yesterday, but I’m glad I spotted the witch’s kiss before it was too late,” she said, pointing to my neck.

Of course, I asked what a witch’s kiss was. They told me that it was a mark left by a witch on an unsuspecting person with a weak heart… and I stared down in shame.

I was weak. I really had wanted death at that moment on the bridge. I had convinced myself that if I jumped off, everything would be fixed.

“Everyone feels anxious at times,” Tomoe-san gently whispered, as if she were reading my mind. “That’s simply what they do… take advantage of those moments.”

Sure, everyone had moments of anxiety. But not me. In my case, it was more like I had moments of normalcy between my anxiety. If witches were real, and they targeted people with weak hearts… then I would be the perfect target.

The reality of how much of a burden I was began crashing down on me, and it took everything I had not to cry.

“It’s okay, Homura-chan,” Kaname-san said, looking deep into my eyes with a smile. “I’m here for you, and so is Mami-san. You can become stronger.”

“But…” Tears were already streaming down my face as I began my question. “How can you handle this? Aren’t you scared?”

Kaname-san’s smile turned a bit embarrassed again. “Well… I talk big, but I used to be a coward, too. I think I was much more timid than most people. But now, by defeating witches, I can save people… and that makes me so much happier than any amount of fear. I’m so glad that someone like me can help others.”

Tomoe-san gently watched Kaname-san haltingly pour her heart out. “You need to make sure you work hard to earn your stripes before Walpurgisnacht comes, Kaname-san.”

Kaname-san’s eyes sparkled. “Right,” she agreed with a nod.

She was so bright and beautiful to a coward like myself…

It was right around then that the seed of my admiration for that girl, Kaname Madoka, was planted.

◯

We were practically in hell.

The sky had turned a dark reddish-black, and all the people had long since abandoned the vicinity. The town was utterly devastated, and what was left was engulfed in flames.

Strewn amongst a massive pile of rubble were the gruesome, tattered remains of a Mitakihara Junior High Uniform. It was Tomoe Mami’s body… or at least, what was left of it.

Walpurgisnacht. The most powerful of all calamities. A hell within a hell. Its mere appearance could utterly destroy any and all human resistance, leaving it free to completely wreak havoc.

It had finally arrived.

Tomoe Mami had always fought fearlessly, taking down any and all witches with elegance and swiftness. Now, I stood before the wreckage that was her body, trembling in fear.

My singular belief that everything would be okay as long as magical girls were there to fight the witches had been shattered, taking my fragile peace with it.

“…I guess this means I’m up.”

I looked up at the resonating voice. “No, but, Mami-san, she already died, and–”

“I know. That means I’m the only one who can stop Walpurgisnacht.” Kaname-san seemed so sad. Her smile didn’t have any weight to it.

“It’s impossible! You could never win against something like that alone! You’ll die too, Kaname-san!” I screamed from the depths of my soul.

I had watched Tomoe Mami and Kaname Madoka defeat countless witches since meeting them. But it didn’t seem to amount to anything faced by… that. It wasn’t just on another level, it was on a completely different dimension. I couldn’t believe she would be so reckless.

Nobody could beat it, under any circumstances. That was all I believed any more.

“Even so,” Kaname-san said, staring at the giant, floating monster. “I’m a magical girl. I have to protect everyone.”

Her gentle gaze brought tears to my eyes.

“…Why don’t we just… run away? There’s nothing we can do anyway… Nobody will hold it against you…”

I didn’t care what happened to the world. I didn’t care where Walpurgisnacht went.

I just wanted Kaname Madoka to live.

Her smile was what made me strong. Her encouragement made me believe that I could keep going. What would I do… if that was gone? How could I live? What could I say that would make her stop? What could I–

Then it came to me with a shock.

All I could think about was myself.

And who was I to Kaname-san, anyway? A friend? All I’d ever done was receive from her. She gave me encouragement and protection, but what had I ever given her? If I hadn’t been of any use to her, then I certainly wasn’t her equal, so what was I?

An ever-familiar anxiety began crawling across my chest at the worst possible time.

I couldn’t even finish my sentence.

“I want you to know something, Homura-chan.” Kaname Madoka spoke to me. “I was so happy to be your friend.”

I…

“The fact that I made it in time to save you from that witch… it’s what kept me going. Because that happened, I can be glad that I became a magical girl.”

But I…

“Farewell, Homura-chan. I wish you all the best.”

With that…

Kaname Madoka’s soul gem glowed so brightly that the world flashed white, and she took off into the air. Straight towards the monstrously gigantic witch… the Walpurgisnacht.

“…No…”

I must have looked like an idiot.

All I could do was watch as she turned into an arrow of light that streaked towards the giant witch.

“…NO! DON’T GO! KANAME-SAAAAAN!!”

All I could do was scream and cry, like a child.

It kept raining.

I couldn’t cry any more, so now the world was weeping in my place.

Not that the world was crying over anyone as useless as me. It was grieving the loss of a girl whose smile could bring happiness to anyone.

“…Kaname… san…”

A small, charred, and tattered body lay at my feet. The burned remains of a school uniform clung to the still childlike form. Her once bright hair was charred and discolored. Somehow, only her face had escaped scarring.

Kaname Madoka’s eyes were closed, almost like she was just asleep. But she had become nothing more than a lump of flesh. She would never smile again.

“Why…” Rain-soaked hair clung to my cheeks and went into my mouth as I cried, but I had long since stopped caring. “Why… You knew that you would die… I’m not worth that… I just wanted you to live…”

Her life, her smile, her warmth… it was all so much more valuable than my own life. I just couldn’t accept the tradeoff. I wasn’t even worth existing if it meant that she would have to die for it. What was the point of staying in a world without her? What was even left?

“Do you really mean that?”

A voice suddenly came from behind me. It was the white creature called… right, Kyuubey. Somehow, it could speak English.

I looked up to find Kyuubey perched on some rubble, its long, white tail swaying below.

“Would you be willing to exchange your soul for that prayerful wish, Akemi Homura?”

It always spoke with a carefree, cutesy voice, but… something about what it was saying chilled me to the bone.

“If your wish must be granted at all costs, even if it means committing to a life of battle, then I can be of assistance.”

When Kyuubey said that, it clicked in my mind. Tomoe-san and Kaname-san had talked about it before…

Becoming a magical girl by making a contract with Kyuubey, in exchange for a single wish.

“…Can you really grant any wish if I make a contract with you?” I asked, my voice raspy and hoarse.

“Of course I can. The important thing is that you fulfill all the requirements. So tell me… what is the wish that will make your soul gem shine?”

“I…” I slowly stood up, taking off my glasses and wiping my tears. I fixed my gaze on Kyuubey, speaking without hesitation. “I want to redo my first meeting with Kaname-san. Instead of being protected by her, I want to be able to protect her.”

Immediately, a shock passed through my body. I felt it everywhere, until it all came together, surging into a singular, powerful point. Light flooded from my chest, and a purple gem came out from inside of me.

The gem twinkled brightly, as if lit by a powerful flame.

“The contract has been established. Your wish has prevailed over entropy.”

The light covered the whole world, turning everything white.

In the midst of it all, I heard Kyuubey’s voice.

“Now unleash your new power.”

The gem floated in the air. My soul gem.

I reached out with trembling hands, taking hold of… myself.

I heard the click of gears spinning into place. A circle formed, and gears rapidly spun in a shield-like shape.

My consciousness scattered.

◯

The whole world was white. But it was a sterile, artificial white. But then, I noticed curtains swaying, and… I knew where I was.

“Is this… the hospital?”

A few careful glances confirmed my suspicions. A familiar vase, a familiar end table, and–

A very unfamiliar date on the calendar.

“I went… back in time?” The date, scribbled over with permanent marker, was several weeks before Walpurgisnacht’s attack.

I quickly sat up, glancing over at a booklet on the end table titled Mitakihara Junior High School: A Guide for Transfer Students.

Only then did I realize that I was clenching something in my left fist. It was an oddly recognizable sensation. But where had I felt it before?

I tried to calm down my rapidly beating heart as I slowly opened my left hand.

A purple jewel sat in my palm, shining brightly.

“My… soul gem.”

Something about the flickering light burning inside the crystal told me that I was not dreaming. Mysterious powers were awakening inside me.

But the fear and wonder couldn’t compare to the happiness I felt.

Time had reversed itself. Kyuubey held to our promise.

I got a do-over. I could rewrite that horrible nightmare…

Not to mention that, in this world…

I could go find her. The girl with that spring-like smile.

◯

“Okay, it’s time for her self-introduction.”

It was my first day as a transfer student at Mitakihara Junior High.

I was so excited that I barely allowed Saotome Kazuko-sensei to finish speaking before introducing myself. “I am Akemi Homura! I look forward to being with you all!” The old me was gone. No more timid, shy, and introverted Akemi Homura.

“Uh, Akemi-san spent a long time in the hospital due to a heart…”

I ignored Saotome-sensei as she continued her explanation, immediately walking away.

I knew my destination: The second-to-last seat in the back of class. Towards the particularly childlike girl staring at me with wide, surprised eyes. I almost cried as I approached the girl who had that smile so much like a spring day. My friend.

“Kaname-san!” I said, grabbing Kaname Madoka’s hand as she watched me with bewilderment. “I’m one too now… a magical girl! I can’t wait to work alongside you from now on!”

The whole classroom was buzzing at that point, and Kaname-san, the only one I was paying attention to, was getting confused and flustered.

But I didn’t care.

I was so glad to meet her again that it was all I could do not to just grab her in a hug right there. Her warm, soft hands felt so alive that I was ready to cry tears of joy.

No matter what it took, I was prepared to protect that life.

It was all I existed for any more.

After school that day, I promptly explained everything to Kaname Madoka and Tomoe Mami, but they didn’t seem to grasp the reality that I came from a different timeline where everything was completely destroyed. No matter how much or how repeatedly I explained myself, the best they could do was smile ambiguously and glance at each other.

But I was fine with that. It didn’t matter if they completely understood. What mattered was making sure the same future wouldn’t come to pass a second time.

First things first, I had to make sure that the two of them understood my capabilities before Walpurgisnacht came. Right after school, I pulled the two of them by their hands to a construction site on the riverbed. With a quick glance to make sure nobody was around, I pulled out my soul gem. Purple light swelled out of it, enveloping me and cutting through my clothes. I changed into my magical girl outfit, which was colored in swaths of black, white, and grey.

“Wow, it’s so cute!” Madoka exclaimed with an innocent smile. It was a nice sentiment, but cuteness wouldn’t get me anywhere. It was time to prove my worth.

“Okay, here I go!” I held up my prepared golf club, staring at an empty oil drum that had been abandoned for who knew how long.

I took a short breath, touching the clock-shaped shield on my left forearm.

There was a clink of gears snapping into place… and Kaname-san and Tomoe-san stopped moving.

My magical girl ability was time manipulation. When I touched my small shield, the hourglass on it would flip, stopping time for everyone except me.

I took my opportunity to swing at the oil drum. Every thwack of the club against the drum made my arms hurt, but I just kept going, and the drum eventually dented and gave way over time.

Before long, the small shield on my arm clicked again, and the drum can fell over, battered on all sides.

I heard the shocked, “Huh?” coming from both Kaname-san and Tomoe-san.

“How… How did I do?” I asked, slumping to the ground and wheezing.

“…What do you think, Mami-san?” Kaname-san asked, clearly stumped.

“Hmm…” Even Tomoe-san sounded a little bewildered. “Time stop… I can’t deny that it’s an excellent ability, but your application is a bit lacking.”

“O… Okay…”

“For starters, being able to get all the hits in doesn’t really matter if your blows aren’t effective. You’ll need something more powerful than that little stick there.”

I glanced over at the bent golf club, my shoulders slumping.

“Also, how did the drum move, even though time was frozen?”

“Well… anything that I touch becomes unfrozen, so when I hit the drum, it could move.”

“That just means your enemy could easily counterattack. You’ll need a more effective way to deal damage without touching your opponent while time is stopped.”

Tomoe-san smiled while giving her critique, but even someone as clumsy as I got the point.

I may have become a magical girl, but my ability was completely useless.

I felt more beat up than the oil drum.

Regardless, I didn’t give up.

Maybe it was just because of the power of being a magical girl, but my heart was stronger than it used to be, and not just metaphorically. I didn’t get any more sudden palpitations or chest pains. I couldn’t be sure if it was because I wasn’t as anxious any more, or because I felt a distinct sense of new purpose, or maybe just that I was now a bit more positive of a person.

I’m going to do whatever it takes to keep Kaname-san safe. I need to be useful to her and Tomoe-san.

I found some information online, then visited every hardware store and pharmacy I could find. I put all the materials on my desk and spent every second of free time I had on a new construction project.

I needed a stronger weapon if I was gonna fight witches. Something like Tomoe-san’s musket or Kaname-san’s bow, something with immense offensive power. Without the ability to conjure a weapon, I would have to make one myself.

It took several tries, but then I finally got one working.

A pipe bomb.

I knew it was illegal and obscene. I’d be arrested if I got caught with it. But if I didn’t kill the witches, then the whole world would be destroyed anyway. And my friend, Kaname Madoka, would suffer a brutal and horrific death.

I had to prevent that outcome, no matter what the cost was. All that passion culminated in my first successful bomb.

And it wouldn’t take long to start seeing the results. A witch appeared the very next day.

My plan was pretty rough around the edges, but Tomoe-san and Kaname-san accepted it. The idea was to have Kaname-san distract the witch with arrows so Tomoe-san could wrap it in ribbons and get me a route over to it. Then I would stop time and plant my bomb.

I was so nervous pulling the plan off that I thought I might get chest pains again, but it worked. My past practice had taught me that my time stop worked for quite a bit longer than I first expected, so there was more than enough time to calm down, get in position, and plant my bombs. Setting them all off at the same time just came down to understanding the exact timing of when I needed to move and plant each sequential bomb so they were all in sync.

I did it exactly as I had gone over in my head so many times before. After counting down just enough, I ended my magic. Just as the witch began to move again, a tremendous roar sounded from all around it.

I might’ve used too much gunpowder, or maybe went a little crazy on the number of bombs, because the blast of smoke ended up engulfing me, too, and in an instant I was white from head to toe.

“That was amazing, Homura-chan!” Kaname-san shrieked, glomping me in a powerful hug.

“Well done,” Tomoe-san said with a smile as she picked up the grief seed where the witch had fallen.

I realized that for the first time, I had actually been useful. My eyes got hot, and all the fear of confronting the witch hit me at once. My knees were shaking, not only from the fear but from an undeniable joy welling up from the pit of my stomach.

I finally had something.

Something I could use to take down Walpurgisnacht.

I could save Kaname Madoka… and the whole world, too.

I was so glad to be a magical girl.

As the witch’s domain collapsed around us, I smiled at Kyuubey, who had been quietly sitting right behind us the whole time.

◯

We were back in hell again.

The sky was once again dyed dark red as storms swirling above a devastated town. Flames engulfed what was left of the ruined buildings.

And Tomoe Mami’s uniform lay tattered and shredded, just like it had before.

Something went wrong. I couldn’t save her. It was just like the last time.

Tomoe-san had tried to cast a binding spell to give me a gap to exploit with my time magic… but it did nothing against Walpurgisnacht. Our typical strategy fell apart in just the first step, and we panicked, all our teamwork going out the window. Tomoe-san was completely overwhelmed by Walpurgisnacht’s attack, and I only made it out because Kaname-san shielded me before leaping back into the air.

I stopped time to set up with as many pipe bombs at a time as I could, and Kaname-san was putting out her strongest possible magical arrows. We pushed our magical power to its limits, but we were able to take down Walpurgisnacht.

We couldn’t save Tomoe-san… but at least I could save Kaname-san.

“…I’m so… tired…” I looked over at Tomoe-san’s deformed body, unable to even cry any more. I turned towards Kaname-san who was laying on her back with her arms and legs splayed out.

“…” Kaname-san didn’t look back at me. Her delicate shoulders quivered as she stared up at the sky where the trail of destruction had raged.

“…Kaname… san?”

“Ugh… Aaaah!” Suddenly, Kaname-san began crying out in pain. She grabbed at her chest, writhing and thrashing in agony.

“Ka-Kaname-san! What’s wrong?! Just hang on!” I got up to help her–

Only to be met with a wall of growing darkness.

Kaname-san’s soul gem was glowing black in her palm, just like… just like a witch’s grief seed.

“What’s going on? Kaname-san, why–”

As I sputtered in disbelief, the black miasma pouring from Kaname-san’s soul gem only increased. Threads of black light began spinning around her as she let out a harsh but fading cry.

I heard a sharp crack, as though the world itself had fractured.

In an instant, Kaname-san’s eyes had turned completely white. Even more miasma was spilling from the crack that had formed in her soul gem. It became a giant shadow, and took form…

I couldn’t even respond as I frantically tapped at the shield on my left arm.

I messed up. I made a mistake somehow.

I desperately messed with my small shield. I just needed another chance. If I tried again and thought it through, then surely…

The gears of my shield met with a clack, and the dying world began to reverse itself.

But I saw it.

The white creature, just sitting there.

Kyuubey’s eyes glowed red, as if mocking me.

“…It can’t be–”

Then my consciousness scattered.

◯

I returned to the sterile, artificially white world.

The curtains swaying in the wind immediately reminded me that I was back in the hospital. A familiar vase, a familiar end table, and a calendar with my discharge date circled several times in red permanent marker.

I had gone back to the world of a few weeks ago once again. My purple soul gem sparkled brightly in my trembling palm.

But I felt no exhilaration like the first time around. There was just a bitter taste of iron in my mouth.

I remembered Kyuubey’s bright, mocking eyes on me as I left the last world.

“We’ve all… been fooled.” I mumbled, shaking.

I watched the peaceful world outside my window. A breeze blew the curtains as the spring sun shone brightly.

Out there somewhere was a completely unaware Kaname-san… and Tomoe-san, too.

“I have to tell them…”

I immediately flung my sheets back and sprung to the floor with a cold determination, clutching my soul gem tightly.

“Kyuubey’s been fooling us all…”

But no matter how much I tried to explain or convince them, nobody believed me.

And besides, something else had already changed. Somehow, another classmate had joined Kaname-san and Tomoe Mami this time around after making a contract with Kyuubey, a girl by the name of Miki Sayaka.

“…Hold on,” Miki-san interjected, scratching her short hair.

We were all in an abandoned building, planning our attack strategy on the next witch. Tensions began rising with that cold, concrete box.

“What does Kyuubey have to gain by lying to us?”

“W-Well…” I didn’t know that. I didn’t know the specific details of what was happening and how it would lead to our demise.

All I knew was the results. And the undeniable memory of Kyuubey sitting by on the sidelines, smiling gleefully.

Kyuubey knew something we didn’t… Or at least, if it wasn’t foreknowledge, it was all part of a plan. I couldn’t shake this horrible feeling that we’d been thrown into a dangerous, life-threatening deal without being fully informed of the details.

“What are you trying to do, freak us all out so you can break up our group? I bet you’re actually teaming up with that Kyouko brat, aren’t you?”

“N-No!” I hurriedly denied.

Evidently, Miki-san and Kaname-san were childhood friends as well as classmates, so they got along well enough. But there was this magical girl from the next town over, Sakura Kyouko, and she didn’t gel at all with them. She always preferred striking out on her own and lauding how much more powerful she was, and Miki-san treated her as a constant source of competition.

“Sayaka-chan… making accusations like that actually would break us up.” Kaname-san’s sad intervention managed to calm things down a bit, but the uncomfortable atmosphere remained.

“Well either way, I don’t want to team up with this girl,” Miki-san eventually said, looking away. “You and Mami-san are ranged, so it makes no difference to you, but I’m tired of explosions going off in my face. I can’t even count how many times it’s already happened.”

Her scrutiny really cut me down. I’d improved on my timing and bomb placement thanks to my previous experience, but Miki-san’s presence really threw a wrench into things. I wasn’t compatible with her longsword and close-combat magic.

“Do you have any weapons other than bombs, Akemi-san?” Tomoe-san asked, trying to figure things out.

“…I’ll come up with something.”

Wasn’t like I could say anything else.

I can’t give up.

It didn’t matter if Miki-san didn’t trust me. It didn’t matter how selfishly Sakura Kyouko acted, or whatever kind of close or long-distance magic anyone could use. Walpurgisnacht would come all the same. I only had until then to find some way of saving Kaname-san and the world.

First things first, I need a weapon.

What I really needed was some kind of long-range attack, like Tomoe-san’s musket or Kaname-san’s bow. That much was obvious given my previous encounter. The group’s current level of coordination simply wouldn’t cut it to take down Walpurgisnacht, so having to deal with short-range magical girls wielding spears or swords was just something I’d have to take in stride. My best shot was to change my attack methods into something that was more helpful for everyone involved.

After a long brainstorming session, I used my powers and a few connections to investigate the yakuza offices around the Kanto region. The police would definitely have firearms, but I didn’t want to take weapons that were meant to maintain public order. If I was going to steal, who better to steal from than an illegal crime gang?

I stopped time, taking a bold first step through the front door of a yakuza office. The people inside looked a lot more ordinary than the movies would have had me believe, but my legs were still trembling with every step. I couldn’t shake the anxiety that time might randomly resume by some mistake.

But I gritted my teeth and pushed through, ransacking every corner of the building. I needed guns. Anything particularly deadly. I figured I could come back later if they all turned out to be in a safe, but I found a few shelves and lockers in a back room stocked with several black firearms, and even a few Japanese-style swords. There were so many guns, and I had no idea what the difference between any of them was, so I just took them all. I had previously discovered that my shield contained the secondary ability to store and remove objects at will, and I used it liberally.

If anything would kill it, it has to be these. This time, we’re going to stop Walpurgisnacht.

I took a train to a remote mountain area with nobody around and started some impromptu gun handling practice. It was a real hassle at first, since I didn’t know which bullets went in which guns, or that I needed to disengage the safety for them to fire.

Then there was the fact that even though I’d become a magical girl, I hadn’t received any supernatural strength training. Firing one single clip of ammo was enough to make my arms numb and my hands weak. The more powerful the gun, the worse the effect.

I had to learn proper grip and aiming techniques from the Internet, and somehow pulled everything together to get used to handling guns.

But, I just… wasn’t fast enough.

The day that I finally devised my first method of firing multiple guns within a singular time stop was just one day before Miki-san’s soul gem was pushed beyond its limit.

“…Sa-Sayaka-chan! Just hang in there!” Kaname-san screamed.

“Just what the hell are you, and what did you do with Sayaka?!” Sakura Kyouko screamed very uncharacteristically.

Tomoe-san simply stood in shock, leaving everyone hanging with no orders to rally around.

Meanwhile, Miki-san’s soul gem was spewing out all of its accumulated miasma and impurity.

“…Sayaka-chan, please stop… Please remember us! You wouldn’t have wanted any of this, Sayaka-chan!”

But Miki-san was already a witch. No amount of screaming could reach her any more.

Miki-san, or at least what was left of her, had been enveloped by black mist, transforming into a witch with an armored knight for an upper body and mermaid for a lower body. She towered over us in the midst of an orchestra stage that shone like a kaleidoscope.

I leapt into action. Miki-sa– no, the mermaid witch had already unleashed a barrage of wheels with killing intent towards Kaname-san.

I activated the shield on my left arm, and time stopped.

I took a handgun from the shield, firing it at the many wheels spinning towards Kaname-san so they would be deflected away. Once Kaname-san was safe, I planted as many pipe bombs as I could around the mermaid witch’s body, taking cover.

“…I’m sorry, Miki-san.”

It tore my heart in two, but I let time resume.

Miki Sayaka was blown to bits. The mermaid witch’s domain vanished, but everyone simply stood in place, stunned.

“…Sayaka… Dammit! How could this… how could she…” Kyouko Sakura punched a wall.

“This is horrible… It’s just too much…” Kaname-san wailed, sobbing uncontrollably.

I just stood by, a bit away from everyone else. All my thoughts were reserved for Kyuubey. The one who had enticed us all to become magical girls.

Kyuubey knew something. Kyuubey had to have known that this would happen, but we were still encouraged to sign those contracts.

Maybe the real win condition was just to kill Kyuubey. That would at least save Kaname-san, right? Maybe even prevent the appearance of Walpurgisnacht.

I steeled my resolve, ready to head towards Kyuubey. But then suddenly, I couldn’t move, as if I’d gotten stuck.

“…What?!”

I can’t move. Not even an inch! What’s happening?!

I flung my head downwards, finding countless ribbons wrapping around my body. Ribbons with a familiar yellow color…

The next moment, a gunshot rang out, and Sakura Kyouko’s body limply fell to the ground, her soul gem shattered.

“Ha… Aha, ha…”

I stood in a daze, unable to comprehend what had just happened.

The only sound in the school grounds was Tomoe Mami’s broken, hoarse laughter.

“So that’s how it all works… witches… magical girls… Ahaha…”

“Tomoe-san-”

“If our soul gems inevitably make us all witches…”

“Tomoe-san, pull yourself together!” I wanted to shout, but my body was so constricted by her ribbons that I couldn’t even make a single sound. I wanted to reach for my shield, but I couldn’t do anything.

“Then… we might as well all die! You and I both!”

“No… stop… Tomoe…san…” I pleaded, but all the light had long left Mami Tomoe’s eyes.

She pointed her silver musket at me, mumbling, “It’s time to die, Akemi-san. For all of us.”

Tomoe Mami smiled–

And then her face froze. Her body slowly crumpled.

“To-Tomoe-san!”

An arrow had pierced Tomoe Mami’s soul gem.

As the ribbons loosed from my body, I saw Kaname-san, sobbing while lowering her magical bow. “I can’t do this any more… I hate, hate, hate this…”

Kaname-san cried, her face contorting as she wailed with everything in her. I rushed to her side. “It’s okay… We’ll be okay, Kaname-san.”

“No, it’s… it’s not okay… Nothing is… What are we even going to do? Why did this… have to happen to us?”

I hugged her slender shoulders, pulling her soft body towards mine. “… It’s Kyuubey.”

“…What?”

I met Kaname-san’s bewildered gaze, nodding. “I told you, right? That Kyuubey was deceiving all of us.”

“Kyuubey really… lied to us all?”

“But… but it’s still okay. I know it is. I can… if you’re with me, Kaname-san, we can still save the world. So get a hold of yourself, Kaname-san. We’ll do it together. We’ll defeat Walpurgisnacht.”

Together…

Together, we could take it down.

We could overcome Walpurgisnacht.

I just knew it.

I truly believed it.

◯

Rain washed over a town reduced to rubble.

It was silent, save for the rushing wind tearing through the new void leftover after the disappearance of a being so transcendentally powerful as Waplurgisnacht. The wind had brought clouds which let down a gentle rain, as if trying to heal the city.

There, in the midst of that rain…

Kaname-san and I lay together.

I doubt there was a single part of our bodies uninjured. Our hair was singed, and our uniforms in tatters.

The more important issue was our soul gems, completely blackened from our overuse of magic. But for some reason, that just didn’t matter to me any more.

It took all the power we had to somehow repel the Walpurgisnacht. But now, our soul gems were stretched to their limits, leaving us to take its place as the next witches.

Why did we even bother fighting? Why did I have to go through all the rewinding time and the pain, if this was just how it would end up anyway?

“I guess this is… as far as we go…” Kaname-san quietly mumbled.

“…Grief seeds?” I managed to ask.

Kaname-san quietly shook her head.

“…Oh,” I lisped, as all my strength drained away.

Beyond the clouds that were rushing through the air, I saw a new clearing of blue skies.

It was such a deep and vast blue. Like an entire world free of the pain we’d been through.

I gazed at that wonderful, faraway world.

“…Hey, Kaname-san.” I whispered. “Why don’t we just turn into monsters… Then we can take this world… and tear it all down…”

I could sense Kaname-san’s face turning towards me. Just knowing her gaze was on me made me so happy, and I kept going.

“We’ll take all the terrible things, and all the sadness, just everything… and gone, gone, gone. Wouldn’t that just… wouldn’t that be amazing?”

My life had been nothing but struggle.

My weak heart forced me to spend more time at a hospital than with any friends or family. That meant my parents had to spend a lot of money. That meant I could never connect with classmates. That meant no keeping up with school, or getting to enjoy any sports. I was so afraid of feeling the familiar pain in my chest that eventually, I started to wish my heart would stop beating altogether. Normal people living normal lives would say and do the most awful things because they didn’t know any better, and I would curse them for it, then hate myself for cursing them.

And every day, I had to go through it alone, wondering if that was just all there would ever be.

But then–

In my desolate, frozen wasteland of a life, you came and showed me the warmth of a spring day.

I think that experience alone gave my entire life meaning.

Kaname Madoka.

I could only make it this far because you were there for me.

I don’t think you can understand how happy you made me. You may never know how much your smile helped me. And as awful as it is to say, the real proof of that lay in how happy I was just to stay there and die with you.

The possibility of becoming a witch with you… as I stared up into that distant fragment of blue sky, it really didn’t seem that bad at all.

And right as I came to terms with that…

It happened.

A small, dry clack… and light began to flow from the palm of my hand.

“…Huh?”

“Sorry… I lied.”

I looked over, and Kaname-san was giving me another one of those spring-like smiles. And in her hand was a grief seed, which she had placed on my soul gem.

“Ka-Kaname-san…”

“I saved one.”

My soul gem was supposed to be completely black, but before my eyes its impurities were absorbed by the grief seed, and it regained its former brilliance.

“But you… why, why me?” was all I could manage to whisper.

“Because you can do something I can’t, Homura-chan. And I have a favor to ask…” Kaname-san continued, her smile losing clarity. “You can go back in time, right, Homura-chan? You said you wanted to change history, to stop this from happening…”

“…Yeah.”

“In that case… I have a request.” Transparent tears streamed from Kaname-san’s eyes as black miasma began to flood out from her soul gem. “Please save me. The idiot that fell for Kyuubey’s lies…”

Her tearful request shot me through the heart. Tears of my own welled up as I wordlessly agreed, nodding repeatedly as I grabbed her small hands.

As Kaname-san’s eyes began to close, I shouted, “I promise. I’ll do whatever it takes to save you. I don’t care how many times I have to go back, I’ll keep you safe.”

“…Thank you.”

Kaname-san smiled.

The next moment, her face contorted in agony as her soul gem began spitting out more black mist.

“…Can I ask… one more thing?”

She didn’t even have to finish for me to understand. I couldn’t stop my tears.

“I don’t… want to become a witch…” Kaname-san held out her black, glowing soul gem with a trembling hand. It had already cracked, and it looked ready to hatch a witch at any moment. “There are already so many terrible and sad things in the world… But there are just as many things worth protecting…”

“…Madoka…” I squealed unintentionally.

Kaname-san gave me another faint smile. “Homura-chan… you finally… called me by my first name…” Kaname Madoka’s final smile faded, and I couldn’t see it any longer. “I’m so… happy…”

As her voice faded away, I stood up. My magical girl costume flared into existence as I pulled a gun out from my shield.

I wiped away tears over and over, trying to aim the gun in my hand at Kaname Madoka’s soul gem.

My hands shook, and my vision was blurry.

I almost gave up before putting all my spirit into it, desperately pulling in energy.

I directed all my anger at the center of that black, flowing miasma.

“I’ll save you… no matter what it takes,” I whispered, barely able to squeeze it out.

Then, with a voiceless scream–

I pulled the trigger.

◯

I woke up in a hospital, surrounded by white walls.

I jumped out of bed, immediately walking up to the full-length mirror in my hospital room. I glared at the girl with plain, braided hair and glasses that I saw within.

“Nobody believes in the future…”

I took off my glasses, holding up my soul gem. I directed all the power flooding my body towards my eyes, instantly correcting my vision.

I undid my braids, letting the hair fall over my shoulders and chest.

I talked to the black-haired girl glaring at me from the other side of the mirror.

“Nobody wants to believe in the future. In that case, I’ll–”

I slipped out of the hospital, immediately stopped time, and headed to a familiar yakuza office. I used my previous experience to find the easiest thing to use, dashing through the quickly darkening city.

I used all the focus I could, searching for Kyuubey. I searched up and down for that white creature.

Perhaps it was only to be expected that I found it traipsing about outside Kaname Madoka’s house. The fake, cutesy exterior of it made all the blood rush to my head.

I shot and killed it instantly, using up all the ammunition I had on hand, shooting until there wasn’t anything recognizable left.

I stood in front of Madoka’s room on the second floor recovering, breathing heavily. Through a gap in the curtains, I could see Madoka sitting at her desk, frowning while struggling to finish her homework.

She was the same as always. That bright hair, those child-like cheeks, those clear eyes that never doubted anyone.

Tears welled up as I looked at the girl I had come to know and love so much. But there was no time to cry. I quickly wiped away my tears, opening the window.

Madoka looked over in surprise at the sudden gust of night wind. “…I-Is someone there?”

Her gentle voice caressed my ears and made my heart quake. But I managed to pull myself together. “Madoka… listen carefully. If someone tries to approach you and win you over with the promise of a miracle, you must never do anything they say.”

“…Huh? Um…” As Madoka sat there, stunned and bewildered… I left.

I couldn’t say any more.

I couldn’t stay there any longer.

If I had listened to Madoka’s voice for any longer… If I had let myself feel her warmth… I would have lost all my resolve. It would have made me want to work alongside her.

But if I let that happen… destruction was inevitable. I would be guaranteed an unavoidable, despair-ridden end.

“I can’t depend on anyone. It doesn’t matter if nobody understands.”

From that day on, I utterly destroyed every witch I encountered on my own.

It’s not worth being picky about methodology. Legality or illegality doesn’t apply here.

I sought out more powerful weaponry. I procured large, unwieldy firearms from US Military bases stationed in Japan. I diligently mastered each and every one, using them on any and any witch that came in my path. I even learned how to dual wield pistols.

I mastered the art of dodging a witch’s attack at the very last possible moment, using my time manipulation in the most efficient and effective manner possible. I honed my judgement, learning to become calm under pressure, discerning the differences between explosives, the characteristics of various firearms, and the applicable weaknesses of witches.

Of course, it all came at a cost, that being the relentless and brutal thrashing of my body. But that was hardly a cost at all.

“I won’t let Madoka fight anymore. I’ll take out all of the witches myself.”

That was my drive. To keep Madoka from ever being dragged into the world of magical girls again. My fight continued under that singular resolve.

“This time, I’ll take down Walpurgisnacht with my own two hands.”

The worst and most dangerous calamity imaginable. A terrifying witch whose presence alone made me weak in the knees.

I would topple it myself.

But…

The strength of Walpurgisnacht far exceeded my expectations.

Raging hot infernos set the town and its people ablaze, causing the very surface of the Earth to collapse in on itself.

I was slammed against a crumbling building as it fell over. Every bone in my body cracked.

It’s strong… too strong…

I desperately steeled my heart against the despair trying to worm its way in–

Until I saw it.

“Why… Why is… she…”

Far away, on the top of a building crumbling to pieces… I saw Kaname Madoka.

Her hands were pressed against her chest as she stared at something tearfully.

No, not at something… at me.

But the very next moment, my heart drowned in a wave of despair as I recognized a small white figure behind her.

“N… No… Madoka!”

[ It’s not anybody’s fault. She simply can’t handle that burden alone. ]

Madoka turned around at the voice, noticing the fantastical creature beside her. [ This… this is too much! How could this be happening?!” ] Madoka looked at me with tears in her eyes as she shouted.

[ If you give up, then it’s over, ] Kyuubey whispered, eyes glowing red. [ But you have the ability to change fate. ]

It was only then that I realized Kyuubey was deliberately letting me hear their conversation. I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood.

That… that thing is trying to make me despair. Kyuubey wants me to despair and become a witch. Then, as a cherry on top, Madoka becomes a magical girl to try and change it, only to fail.

I mustered all the strength I had left in my body, screaming, “…Madoka! Don’t listen to anything it says!”

But the raging storm and the laughter of Walpurgisnacht drowned me out entirely. I never had a chance of reaching Madoka.

[ …Is that really true? ] Madoka eventually asked, her voice trembling. [ Is that really something I could do? ]

[ This unavoidable destruction and sorrow… you can overcome it. You have that power within you. ]

I can’t move.

I had already lost far too much blood and used far too much magical power. I was faced with a devil whispering lies that would undo all my hard work, and there was absolutely nothing I could do. Tears sprung to my eyes from my own helplessness.

Just then, I was struck by another heavy blow from Walpurgisnacht. I felt like my body would tear apart from the impact. My consciousness began to fade.

But beneath the rubble, I still screamed.

“Don’t fall for it! This is exactly what it wants!”

I didn’t have a voice any more. I wasn’t even sure if I was alive.

[ Could someone like me… really make a difference? Can I really change this? ]

Madoka’s voice echoed in my head. The devil responded.

[ You certainly can. All it takes… ]

No.

[ All it takes is for you to make a contract with me and become a magical girl! ]

“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

But my tearful scream was all for naught.

A dazzling light spread across the land. It was warm, peaceful, and endlessly powerful. Its source was Madoka herself, and it shot up, piercing the sky.

Just looking at and experiencing that light was like… was like an infinite expression of encouragement for all of life itself.

There stood a magical girl, emanating the divine radiance of a goddess.

Madoka took one long, brave look at Walpurgisnacht.

A huge, magical bow shone into existence in her hands.

She held it up, pulled it back as far as it could go… and loosed.

With a single shot, Walpurgisnacht was shattered to pieces, and all the scorching wind and fire that it brought along with it.

“…That was truly spectacular. I’ve never seen anything like Madoka transformed.”

I didn’t even have the strength to glare at the source of that carefree voice, falling to my knees.

“I predicted that she would become the most wonderful of magical girls, but to defeat Walpurgisnacht with a single shot…”

Kyuubey… that white demon from the depths of the universe.

“And did your oh-so-great predictions… tell you what would happen next?”

Kyuubey shrugged off the anger bubbling so close to the surface of my question, casting his gaze to the place where Walpurgisnacht had just vanished.

In its place…

There was a gigantic titan of a witch, dwarfing even Walpurgisnacht. It seemed capable of swallowing the very planet.

“Well, this was bound to happen sooner or later,” Kyuubey said in a carefree voice that didn’t even hint at any ill intent. “The most wonderful of magical girls defeated her greatest foe. What was left for her other than to become the most evil of witches? I’d say that Madoka as she is now will only take about 10 days to destroy the planet.”

Kaname Madoka.

My… My friend. The most wonderful of magical girls… and the most evil of witches.

“Well, what happens next is humanity’s problem. We’ve already achieved our energy quota.”

It took that last remark for me to finally understand the true identity of the white demon in front of me.

“Incubator…”

Kyuubey’s eyes narrowed at my voice.

“You are, without a doubt, the enemy of all mankind.”

“You people are always saying things like that. Don’t you understand that it’s only due to our interference that your civilization has been able to prosper in the way it has?”

I stood before those sparkling red eyes, a gaze that could even be described as innocent… and felt utterly powerless.

Kyuubey watched my expression. “Hm, I suppose putting it that way has only caused further emotional harm. Goodness, it’s so difficult to communicate with humankind…”

I decided to ignore Kyuubey, forcing my aching body to stand. I took one look back at the giant shadow of the transformed witch… and began to walk away.

“Aren’t you going to fight?” Kyuubey’s voice echoed from behind me.

“No,” I answered, activating the shield on my left arm. “This is not my battlefield.”

◯

I’ll do it over again. I don’t care how many times I have to.

I cornered a fleeing Kyuubey in a newly rewound timeline. We were in the Mitakihara shopping mall, or at least a section of it under new construction.

With repeated bursts of time stop, I finally managed to get in front of Kyuubey, firing my Beretta M92F. I emptied all 15 9mm Parabellum rounds from its double stack magazine, instantly obliterating the white body. Kyuubey didn’t even have time to scream.

I chucked the empty magazine away, but just as I was about to walk off, I sensed something darting past me. It was white, with a long tail, and trailing ears with golden accessories.

I instantly stopped time and tried to circle around, but the new Kyuubey was fast. It slipped through a pocket in the wall just as I fired my Beretta.

I double-checked the floor and wall near the area Kyuubey had passed through, noting the considerable amount of blood.

“You’re not getting away.”

This time, I was going to finish it. I’d find a way out of the endless maze.

I’m just traveling through the same maze over and over, trying to find a single exit. But I’ll do it for you, Madoka, if it saves you from despair…

I stopped time as much as possible, tracking Kyuyubey’s presence. But I was so focused on finding the white demon that I failed to notice the ever-familiar presence so close by.

“…Was that… you? The one calling for me?”

A voice reached my ears as I entered the empty room where Kyuubey had fled.

The owner of that voice flinched at the clack of my footsteps, turning towards me.

“…Ho-Homura-chan?” Kaname Madoka asked, holding a bloodstained Kyuubey in her arms. In this timeline, we had just met for the first time earlier in the morning.

“Stay away from that thing,” I replied, doing my best to control my emotions.

“Bu-But, look at it… the poor little guy’s hurt…” Madoka pleaded tearfully.

The beloved girl that I saw so often in my dreams had remained so constant. Innocent, pure, honest, and endlessly compassionate.

My one and only friend stood before me.

“S-Stay back! Don’t try anything!” Madoka shouted.

It was a show of emotion far too adorable to call hostility. It tugged at my heart.

I would be so happy to just pull you into my arms. It would be so much easier if only I could tell you everything.

But I can’t.

Those choices would only lead to despair. They would ruin you.

So it doesn’t matter if I’m misunderstood. It doesn’t matter if my methods are questionable. I still have to do something.

I have to do it… for you.

And as long as it’s for you, I don’t mind being trapped in an endless maze.

Maybe it’s the right thing to do, and maybe it isn’t. But I will not give up on trying to save you.

Because you… are my one and only friend.

Countless emotions raged in my heart… and eventually subsided.

I spoke.

“This has nothing to do with you.”