34

Despite everything that had already happened, I still felt an indescribable repulsion at the thought of using someone else’s bath. The same had been true of the restroom, but the physiological phenomenon associated with the restroom carried significant risk, whereas the bath was just a place someone opted for to feel better. A weird type of guilt bloomed within me.

It wasn’t the homeowner, but rather U, the singular remaining occupant of the house, who encouraged/forced me to use it, so really, there was no reason to feel awkward. But moral qualms aside, I also didn’t like being naked in someone else’s house.

Still, even if the desire to bathe wasn’t a strict need, it was very strong, and my body odor was so powerful at that point that pretending to wash up wouldn’t cut it. Despite all my hesitation, I had to take a bath, and there was even a part of me that wanted to.

The novelty of another person’s bathing room made me very nervous… I barely went into other people’s houses, and I had never used someone else’s bath and shower before. I started by simply turning on the shower. Even the shape of the shower head was new to me.

The bathtub was already filled with warm water, likely prepared before our dinner, but I was all kinds of nasty, so I couldn’t just jump right in to soak.

I had to start by washing my body and hair.

I wondered for a moment if it was okay for me to use the amenities- the shampoo, conditioner, and soap. I thought about going to ask permission to use them, then figured that if she had already decided to let me use the bath, it would be outrageously petty to not expect me to use the amenities.

I felt the water wash over my head at the perfect temperature from the shower head… I never knew it could feel so good to have water wash over me. I scrubbed my head and body, though it obviously took many separate lathers before the soaps would actually foam. As I washed, one thought ran through my head. It has to be tomorrow.

The next day was Monday. U would wake up, announce, “Good morning to you,” and eat breakfast. Then she would announce, “I am leaving now,” and go to school.

After that, I’d leave the closet, search the house, find out why U‘s parents were “gone” or wherever they “went away”, and look into other personal information about them. But no matter the results, even if I didn’t find anything, I was going to leave the house. I had to leave.

But I wasn’t going to call the police or sneak out while U was away… Those were no longer acceptable plans. I was going to wait for U to come home from school, return her “I am home” with “Welcome home”, and then have a good, long talk with her before leaving.

I was sure she would understand as long as I talked with her about it. What she was doing was a terribly bad crime that could not be allowed to continue.

I would promise to never tell anyone about the what I had seen that day and ask to be allowed to go home, doing everything I could not to wound U‘s young heart.

The bath just provided an opportunity to feel refreshed and calm when I told her.

Besides, after being given the opportunity to comfortably bathe my body at my own pace, the kidnapping charges were looking harder and harder to keep up, and if the right sequence of events occurred, I could end up charged for trespassing, just as I had feared that first day.

It would be best to keep the whole thing secret.

I couldn’t even let U‘s parents find out.

I assumed they’d never come back, but even if they did, there was no need to bother them with involvement. Besides, I didn’t have anything to say to the kinds of savages that would leave their elementary school daughter alone for over a week.

I guess it was only because of them that I ended up getting any kind of food, if I think about it one way… maybe I should be grateful to them. By the time I was feeling cocky enough to have those kinds of thoughts, I had finally managed to get my body washed to a reasonable degree. The soaps were actually foaming.

After rinsing off one last time with the shower head, I finally made my way into the tub. The wounds on my calves and back stung a bit from the exposure, but it still felt tremendous.

I let out an involuntary sigh.

And that was when it happened.

I was so focused on washing myself that I hadn’t noticed U make her way into the restroom without knocking, and before I knew it, she was coming right into the bathing room.

When U offered to let me use the bath, she had said, “go ahead into the bath”. I only then realized that she had meant “go ahead of me”, and she was planning to come in after finishing her homework. It was too late to do anything about it.

For an elementary schooler, eating together and bathing together aren’t really all that different, and overreacting would only serve to strip away my man card. But my reaction wasn’t tied to carelessness or defenselessness. I should think it’s quite normal to feel alarmed when any girl of any age who’s not related to me just pops in completely naked.

If authorities barged in at that moment, nobody would question who was the kidnapper. And being called a kidnapper might be the least of my worries…

“Please excuse my intrusion.”

But I found it difficult to run U off as she closed the bathing room door behind her, and not because of self-preservation. It was a different feeling entirely.

I should think it’s obvious that I’m not alluding to pedophilic intent. If I were, then I would have no reason to be writing this. All I would accomplish is getting socially sanctioned, and I would probably never spend another day among normal society. That might make me ashamed enough to commit suicide, going against my own word.

The times being what they are, alongside several new laws restricting the freedom of expression being enforced across certain Japanese provinces, it’s a given that I cannot go into exhaustive detail accurately describing U‘s incipient, naked body. Personally, I think the new laws are mostly for show… Restrictions on expression have been in place long before any of those laws. There were things you could say the year I began writing that would now be considered taboo on this current 10th year. And if creators want to fight for “freedom of expression”, they better be aware they’re fighting a lot more than just politicians and bureaucrats. That said, a creator who misunderstands what freedom of expression is meant for is a pathetic figure indeed…

Back to the point, I was talking about U‘s naked body. I can’t go into too many details, but for the sake of my honor, I must explain why I didn’t run her off. And wow, I make it about my honor. As if I ever had any. I should be ashamed.

And I was ashamed, down to the deepest depths of my heart, because I had made all that fuss about a few cuts on my calves and back…

When more cuts and bruises than I could have ever counted were hidden under that fourth-year elementary school girl’s clothes.